MBTI: ENFJ Personality Portrait - The Givers

Continuing further from my last post on Introducing the MBTI Personalities, you can go back and read what each of the four letter combination means and take a free test on finding out what type you are here. 

ESTP - ESFP - ENFP - ENTP - ESTJ - ESFJ - ENFJ - ENTJ
ISTJ - ISFJ - INFJ - INTJ - ISTP - ISFP - INFP - INTP 

Extroverted - iNuition - Feeling - Judging

  In a nutshell, if you find that you associate the most with the ENFJ personality type, you are seen as the givers and helpers. ENFJs are hard workers who often see the good and the potential in others where they seek to bring that out from people. Usually they are very open to express their feelings and of the strong values that they have. They love to help others with guidance and encouragement and they do it well. ENFJs always seem to be friendly, very positive and when you combine that with their excellent communication skills, they can easily make new friends or connect well with people.

Working with people is a joy for them and people love to work with them especially when the ENFJs are in a leadership role. They show great empathy and understanding of others which creates such a loving and harmonious environment.

Going deeper, ENFJs are sensitive people with lots of emotion. They like to be liked by everyone thus, are prone to putting too much effort into pleasing others rather than themselves which isn't always a good thing. Criticisms and negativity generally don't sit well with them as they become disappointed or even hurt. They can have such strong idealistic views that they can be become unrealistic and naive when trying to bring it to realism. The imperfections of what is reality will be unsatisfying to them. ENFJs are too hard on themselves as they tend to put too much blame on themselves for not being able to make their fantasies real.

ENFJ Cognifive Functions

The Dominant Function of ENFJs is Extraverted Feeling, Fe. This is where they have a strong need to engage and connect with others. To make decisions based on feelings and be able to see the needs of others and adapt how to behave with them.

Their Auxiliary Function is Introverted Intuition, Ni. This supports their main core of Extraverted Feeling where they will internally go deeper in the meanings and ideas. To make reflections on the impressions of others and find ways to understand them to figure out how best to respond to their needs.

ENFJs Tertiary Function is Sensing, S, and is usually not as developed for majority of ENFjs. With a weak Sensing function, they can have difficulty dealing in present time with realities and facts.

Their Inferior Function is Introverted Thinking, Ti. ENFJs with low developed Ti will have trouble making proper judgments with their own objective reasoning and bring out an ugly side out of them.

* Notable ENFJs include: Oprah Winfrey, Martin Luther King Jr., Emma Stone, Denzel Washington.

How to Spot an ENFJ

You can typically tell someone is an ENFJ if the person is great at storytelling, someone who always checks in with everyone to see if they are having an enjoyable time in a social setting, always appear to be quite flirty with almost anyone, or someone who can't stop making sexual innuendos. Lastly, an ENFJ will probably hug you to death.

My Myers-Briggs Type Indicator - MBTI and its 16 Personalities

What is the MBTI?

MBTI is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator which is an assessment of personality types. The theories of the personality preferences were first identified by Carl Jung, a well known psychologist. It was later developed further by Katharine Briggs and her daughter Isabella Briggs Myers during WW2 into an instrument that is known as the MBTI.

The MBTI has 16 different personality types that paves way for people to understand themselves and others better in each of their perspectives. To gain a better understanding of how some people communicate a certain way, how they see the world and act differently. Getting to know your MBTI can help you choose a career that best fits you, to choose partners that are most compatible for you, and to develop further than seeing just one perspective and into all 16 perspectives.

MBTI Model

The model of the MBTI consists of four primary functions that people can find differences in. We can see these differences as having mental preferences of one over another which affects how we do things. Looking at the model it consists simply with four letters.

The first letter deals with your mental orientation that has two dimensions. The first dimension is your energy orientation where your mental world is either Introversion, where you gather your energy through solitary reflections and thoughts, or Extroversion, where you get your source of energy from interactions with the outside world. Thus, your first letter will either be I or E

Your second letter deals with your mental processes with two dimensions. The first dimension is the way you 'perceive' information through either sensing or intuition. People with the preference of Sensing perception focus more with their five senses; what they see, hear, taste, smell, and touch. They favor looking at the present and the reality, working first with facts and details. People with the preference of iNtuition perception focus on the meaning and impression of information. They look at the big picture and put a lot of thought into the future. Your second letter will either be S or N.

Your third letter is the second dimension of your mental processes which is how you come to make your 'judgments'. People with the preference of the Thinking judgment prefer to be analytical, objective and use logic to come to decisions. People preferring the Feeling judgment put emphasis on maintaining harmony in their decisions. They take into consideration of other people's point-of-view and try to bring what is best for everyone. Your third letter is either T or F.

The last letter for your MBTI personality is the second dimension of your mental orientation, the outer world orientation which is how you deal with the outside world. People who rely either on their T or F function assert order, organization and structure to manage the external world. They have a Judging orientation. Those who use their S or N function, handle things with more flexibility and openness to experience the world rather than asserting order. These people have a Perceiving orientation. Your last letter is either J or P.

Putting all the combinations together and you will get 16 different personalities and they for the most part are quite accurate in understanding all the individuals in the world. You can take the MBTI assessment here. It isn't highly accurate but, will provide you a general idea and more insight of your personality. The 16 MBTI personalities are as follows:

  

Take the test if you don't already have an idea of which of the 16 MBTI personalities you associate the most with. Studying the behavioral tendencies of each type can greatly help you figure out your type. 

Picture source: http://www.svj1.com/res/MBTI/

Information adapted from http://www.personalitypathways.com/MBTI_intro.html

Eye Contact with Strangers

When you're out walking down a street, where do you look when you pass by people? You will probably you give them glances, maybe you look to the sides pretending you see something interesting, maybe you look down on the floor or just straight ahead as if you don't acknowledge the person at all. What about maintaining eye contact with a stranger as you walk by? Most people will feel awkward or discomforting when their eyes meet with another.

Prolonged eye contact has strong effects. It can be considered aggression particularly between two males. When two men hold eye contact with each other having a stare down, the man who looks away first can be considered the weaker man.

How about between a man and a woman? If the man makes eye contact and breaks it off first, it does display less masculinity. More so, if he looks straight to the ground walking by. Some men can have difficulty maintaining eye contact with random attractive women they see. This could tie in with the confidence of the person. Someone with social anxiety will have extreme difficulty in maintaining eye contact with almost anyone.

When I was a child growing up, I did have trouble with looking into people's eyes. It definitely made me feel awkward when I meet eyes with a stranger. As I got older it became easier for me. Now, I usually lock eyes with women especially ones I find attractive. If I sense that men are staring at me acting cocky, I sure as hell won't be looking down on the floor.

What women do with their eyes can tell how much interest they have in you even if you just are walking by them on a street. People like to look at attractive people and women are no different. Making eye contact makes you more attractive and confident. Not all women will give back a positive response though but, if you intend to gaze into eyes of women don't look away first. 

Generally, if a woman just gives you a quick look and looks away, there's no interest. If she holds her gaze with you for at least a few seconds then looks away, there's some interest. If she holds her gaze and does a double take where she breaks off first but almost instantly looks back at you, she finds you attractive and you caught her looking at you. If she smiles or even says 'hi' after maintaining eye contact then it's very obvious. You don't even have to be smiling when you look, just have a calm straight face showing you're not a threat.

If you have trouble with eye contact, work on it. Try it with people you know first and get comfortable with it. It builds confidence and benefits you in other aspects in life. Try it out on strangers in public holding gazes with someone of the opposite sex. If you're a man there's nothing to worry about, you'll be surprised at how many good responses women will give you. 

Bruce Lee Inspiration

Despite having his life end so early at the age of 32 in 1973, Bruce Lee's movies, teachings, philosophies, and his influence still lives on. The impacts he had made continues to make an impact to individuals worldwide. He is truly one of the most influential person in this world and I will share some inspirations he gave to me with a quote of his. 

“A goal is not always meant to be reached. It often serves simply as something to aim at.”

Find a direction for yourself to lead you out from being lost. Set goals for yourself and tackle them. Review the goals and your progress weekly. Go somewhere where you want to be. Look up ahead and go. 

Whether the goals are achieved or not, if you went for them, you will see that you have achieved more than you would have if you had not aimed for your goals. You will find a direction in your life. 




Bruce Lee's famous 2 finger push ups demonstration

Your Dreams: Get Up and Find Your Way

Summer has arrived and like always it is a time to enjoy being out in the heat, to go out and relax with cold beers, and where women lay out there and try to tan. In the past, I'll either be working a summer job or still looking for one, loaf at home, play sports with the guys, and be around more with my family. This lifestyle is no different from year to year but, there are significant changes for this year. For 2013 I'm not just headed in a different direction, I'm forging that pathway. 

For the past month and a bit, in the free time I have, I have dedicated some of that time to write everyday. Most of the writing has been put into developing a novel, my very first novel. A lot of time was spent on writing this novel already but, it is not near being finished. What is my novel about? I won't reveal much at all to anyone and won't until it is completed and ready to be read. This makes it the all more mysterious and intriguing I hope. Besides, I prefer not to show my works-in-progress until it's finished anyways. 

I have many stories that I want to write about that will fall into the fiction/fantasy categories. These stories will run wild of imaginations, they will go deep searching and discovering the things I want to express that matters the most to me. 

Writing everyday has evolved into a habit by now, it has become a part of my daily routine. I get up each morning eager to progress my story further and it waits for me to write more after I get off from work. It has become a part of me.

It is going to be one difficult task to write my stories well. It will take a very long time and will require a significant amount of thinking, researching and revisions. It will be a lot of work but, I welcome it though. I am motivated and willing to put in the effort to do the hard work and spend the time to fulfill this meaningful purpose. 

In writing novels, I feel I am being true to myself in this road I created to walk ahead on. I am not afraid of finding myself being thrown down from the hardships I'll endure. I know I have the strength and passion to get myself back up and fight on. This is who I am and I will write my stories.  

A Sexy Salsa Summer

Another one of the many goals I look to attain, is now added to my weekly schedule for this summer - learning to salsa! As a man who likes to explore other cultures, I look to dig deeper into the Spanish life and what better to do so than getting sensual with salsa dancing. Take a night off, relieve any stress, find your inner self, embrace it and release it. Baila conmigo.

Participating in an open free salsa dance lessons is a great way to get yourself to start learning how to salsa. The instructors there teaches you the basics and progresses at a good pace for everyone to follow. A new pattern is incorporated with the basics every few minutes and everything you've learned is repeated throughout. By the end you'll be introduced to quite a bit but, you'll get the hang of it the more you do it of course. Everyone there is trying to learn and are doing what you are doing, so you'll feel welcomed and be at ease following the instructors. Be optimistic and and say 'Yeah, let's do this shit!'

Learning with a group of people is an enjoyable time. Ranging from young adults to the old, they're very friendly and sociable individuals looking to have a fantastic evening and improve themselves. For most of the lesson, you'll be paired up with the opposite sex and the women will rotate every couple minutes. A good opportunity to meet and dance with many people. Make the best out of your time, you want to have fun so greet with a pleasant attitude, make each other feel comfortable, take her hands and just twirl her!

Sometimes a random woman runs off the dance floor and you got no one rotating to you but that's alright, you just go to the bar, have some gin and tonic and take a break. This shit is tiring. Here is a time to meet and really talk with people taking a break also. Most of the women there are easy going and like to chat. Get to know one another, hear them talk about themselves and just chill. As long as you're not like Ralph Wiggum, then you'll be fine.






Ask them to dance after and you'll be back doing the fancy footwork and twirling, don't forget to twirl them. 


When the lesson is over that is where the dance floor is open for freestyle with the hottest latin songs playing, not the typical stuff you hear at clubs. This is where the people who are really good start swarming in, that and more people with skimpier clothing. 

It doesn't take much time before the place is flooded and the dance floor is completely packed. Right on time where I leave and do something else. I've already enjoyed my time with the lesson and the evening. Something I look forward for more! 

Pleasures of Going Out Alone

It's been a long day, you've been venturing throughout the city, you did some pleasure reading, your writing material has been written, you've played the songs you know on the keyboard, there's already a few cups of coffee in you, all the meals have been eaten and you're still thinking of eating sushi, and... what? Oh, I shouldn't have more? Well, when I've done all that, sometimes at that point, there's not much that is better than having a glass of delicious cold beer... while sitting at the bar by yourself. 

I mean why not? I'm just enjoying myself with refreshing tasty booze while I take a rest and drift away in my mind. There's nothing wrong with enjoying things by yourself. If I wanted to hang out with friends, I'll do so. Sometimes, it's relaxing to do some things just by yourself. I'm comfortable being out in public alone. The big upside in doing this? You go and do whatever and leave on your own terms. You got no one else to worry about, no one but yourself, especially when you go to a bar where you can sit at. I'm my own man.

You'd feel awkward and weird going out by yourself, you say? Well I'll say this, you'll only feel that way when you present yourself as awkward and weird. If you're at the bar looking around the place, at the people, and fiddling around with your phone then yeah, that's going to be weird. It's weird even if you're doing that when you're there with your friends.

Not every bar is right for this. It's got to be one where you can sit at by the bar where there is a pleasant atmosphere. It's much better if there are TV's to watch where you're sitting as you take your time with a drink. That way you can catch some of the sport games that's on and not be a weirdo. Sure, you can do that by yourself at home or, you can be a boss and go to a bar where other sport fans are and have some sport talks.

The conversations with strangers, it's where you can meet people that share some of the same interests or learn of different ones. I'll tell ya, you can meet some of the most fascinating individuals. Either that or you'll overhear strange interesting conversations from people. It can be very intriguing hearing the things that people out there just blabber about. I'm a hockey guy so I can find myself having good hockey discussions with other hockey fans there. I'm simply having an enjoyable time.

Another aspect that makes this a better experience is where you get to know the bartenders. Bartenders are there to make you feel welcomed and happy. Making yourself well-liked and a regular will benefit you. If someone is giving you a bad time, the bartender who knows and likes you, will help you out. They are there to look out for you if you're in good terms with them. So, be sure to tip them well!

Also, don't listen to the stigma of going out by yourself, especially to a bar. It's all fabricated by those who are close-minded, ignorant, childish, and only follow the sheep herd. Perhaps they're scared or insecure about themselves to be alone. Don't listen to the rubbish. If someone is giving you guff about you being independent and living your life, tell them to go fuck themselves. I know if someone isn't leaving me alone after I tell them to, I'll confront the person and I don't even care how many there are at a time. Some people need a little reminder to stop the rubbish talk. 















I'm not looking for foolish games, I admire those who do things independently and don't care about what others think. I'll go get myself only a drink, sit there watching a game, maybe I'll read something, ponder and write some things down, listen to musicians play, or just chill and relax with a cold beer after a long day. I'll do my own thing and maybe I'll have to smack someone with my nunchuck to do so. Just kidding. Speaking of nunchucks, I have to order new pairs and start practicing again. I keep breaking them from wacking peop- I mean from practicing with them...